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Shiro Aburame
Konoha Genin
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Shiro Aburame


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PostSubject: Pride of the Aburame   Pride of the Aburame Icon_minitimeFri Oct 02, 2015 11:35 pm

Pride of the Aburame TesttRazorFly-2

Name: Razor Destruction Insects
Rank: A-Rank [B-Rank Upkeep]
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: N/A
Range: N/A
Handseals: N/A
Speed: 80
Description: This is a rare breed of the Aburame's Kikaichu. These bugs however are different from the other breeds of the bugs. Their hard carapace makes them resilient in battle, only being able to be cut by A-Rank or higher weapons. Being more compact and armor they are also resilient to some jutsu elements, these elements being wind, lightning and water.

Water may be able to drawn them, but their wings are resistant to water and as such it takes the force of an A-Rank to knock them down. As for wind being bugs they recover from most wind techniques, only disrupted by such jutsu from which they recover quickly. The only way a wind technique can kill them is if it has the crushing power to do so meaning it would require pushing the bugs against another force and even then they have to be A-Rank or higher. Finally, they are resilient to lightning the technique only bouncing off of their carapace to no effect. This means the Jutsu must be compact in nature to actually kill them and would take an A-Rank or higher. On the other hand they are weak to fire, their compact build making them quick to burn and having no way to put out the flames beside their flying speed if they still have their wings.

All of this being said the bugs carapace are hard and sharp, having the cutting force of an A-Rank blade. Although being only about the size of ones thumbs and the carapace 'blades' only being about an inches or two in length they don't have the length to cause much injury unless several cuts are made. The bugs are also poison in nature, while their toxins aren't strong enough to kill normally they are immune to all poisons up to S-Rank do to their nature.

With this justsu the user can only control up to 5000 bugs in total, since these bugs are smaller than most of the Aburame's bugs. On top of that all of that since the bugs do most of the work the Jutsu and any derived from it get an added 10% discount chakra usage.

Carapace - A-Rank sharpness
Durability - A-Rank or higher to damage (S-Rank for Water)
Population - 5000 total
Natural Advantages - Immune to poisons,venom, etc
Strength - Requires 80 strength to remove from self

Name: Razor Destruction Insects - Whip Extensions
Rank: B-Rank [C-Rank Upkeep]
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: N/A
Range: 30 meters from user's arm
Handseals: N/A
Speed:User's Stats
Description: The user envelopes their hands in a cloud of the insects as they are involved in combat. These insects link together functioning as whip extentions from their hands, reaching up to 30 meters from their fists. These whips are thousands of bugs all linked together, functioning as an A-Rank blade sword, able to cut just as effectively as a real sword. This being said the cloud of tough bugs also function as a defense, able to withstand A-Rank or lower attacks and even grab objects by wrapping around them.

Name: Razor Destruction Insects - Unstoppable Swarm
Rank: B-Rank
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: N/A
Range: N/A
Handseals: N/A
Speed: 85
Description: The bugs work themself into a rage and fly at top speed toward the target. As they dart toward the target in a cloud the user can communicate mentally to mold them into any shape necessary. This allows the user to either trick the user into dodging and being caught off guard or even swarm them and encase them in the cloud of bugs. With such ability the user can use the bugs to slice right through the target with A-Rank cutting abilities.

Name: Razor Destruction Insects - Insect Missile
Rank: A-Rank
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: N/A
Range: 150 meters
Handseals: N/A
Speed: 90
Description: The user thrusts their palm out, sending a stream of insects out toward their targets. This missile of insects with their added speed has A-Rank penetration abilities, able to punch a hole right through the A-Rank defenses and lower. While they can be used so effectively the user can communicate to the bugs mentally if they do not desire to injure the target, able to deliver a punch with the strength to break bones and rupture internal organs. On top of this they can slow the bugs even more and chose to envelope the target in the insects instead of injure them.


Last edited by Shiro Aburame on Fri Oct 09, 2015 5:34 pm; edited 1 time in total
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kidbushido

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PostSubject: Re: Pride of the Aburame   Pride of the Aburame Icon_minitimeSat Oct 03, 2015 12:53 am

Whatever
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Ryan

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PostSubject: Re: Pride of the Aburame   Pride of the Aburame Icon_minitimeSat Oct 03, 2015 3:09 pm

Uh... I'm going to have to deny this.

The first jutsu is just a description about the species of beetle. It's not much of a jutsu. Also it's far too powerful of a bug. If it's only B ranked then why are the bugs stronger than everything up to a rank higher other than fire. I can't allow this. If you want some sort of armored bug, then you're gonna have to drop speed and rank as well as number.

Whip extensions shouldn't be any more powerful than a D ranked blade considering its a C ranked jutsu. Also requires upkeep to maintain the whip.


Be more specific on shapes being made on unstoppable swarm. Also include a range and drop speed to like 50 since it's B rank. Add some hand seals.

Missles cannot have more than B rank penetrating ability. Also needs hand seals and a range and Speed that are much lower.
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Shiro Aburame
Konoha Genin
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PostSubject: Re: Pride of the Aburame   Pride of the Aburame Icon_minitimeMon Oct 05, 2015 11:01 pm

Razor Insects - This is purely the base jutsu and every jutsu to use them will need a case to case approval so that justifies to low rank, plus it's nature makes it hard to maintain if it were to be raised a higher rank since upkeep. To justify the strength they are a collection of bugs, meaning they would be harder to kill and would be resistant to such jutsu. Also dropping the speed is wrong, they are bugs and plenty B-Ranks have that speed. I see no flaw in this justu as it's more of a parent jutsu and is only a requirement to learn the rest of the jutsu, making the jutsu harder to get. On top of that the number of insects is purely for future jutsu, to limit my use of blocking jutsu and is more of a limitation than a gain.

Whip Extension - The upkeep will be payed as the original Razor insect jutsu, not the whip jutsu. This means it takes a C-Rank and a B-Rank to use plus upkeep of a B-Rank. Which I see as enough cost to have an A-Rank blade

Swarm - The shapes are vague seeing as it can be made into any shape the user needs at the moment. As for the speed that is BS there are plenty B-ranks with more than 50 speed and that is WAY too slow for insects alone let alone a B-Rank justu of insects. WILL NOT ADD HANDSEALS. A jutsu of this nature should NOT require handseals, it is the bugs doing the work not the user. Range added.

Missiles - The penetration of S-Rank means it can puncture A-Rank and lower defenses seeing as S-Rank penetration and S-Rank defenses would cancel out each other. Again will not add handseals for above reason, as for the speed it is purely the parent jutsu speed with added speed do to the momentum and the way the user uses the jutsu.
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Ryan

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PostSubject: Re: Pride of the Aburame   Pride of the Aburame Icon_minitimeTue Oct 06, 2015 10:58 pm

My stance isn't changing. Sorry bro
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Shiro Aburame
Konoha Genin
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Shiro Aburame


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PostSubject: Re: Pride of the Aburame   Pride of the Aburame Icon_minitimeFri Oct 09, 2015 5:36 pm

Bump - I've made various edits, I didn't add handseals. Although I'd like a new review on your thoughts
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Will
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PostSubject: Re: Pride of the Aburame   Pride of the Aburame Icon_minitimeFri Oct 09, 2015 7:27 pm

Razor Destuction Bug: I get that this is a passive/base type of technique and I'm totally fine with those. This is far too powerful. You may not have flat immunity to the majority of 3 different elements. You may not have an unnecessary additional 10% off the cost. A rank damage equivalent seems extremely excessive. I fail to see how they would resist up to A rank weaponry and remain able to fly. Immunity to poisons makes little to no sense. The ability to control 5x the regular amount of bugs is too great. Do these replace the regular kikaichu?
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Shiro Aburame
Konoha Genin
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Shiro Aburame


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PostSubject: Re: Pride of the Aburame   Pride of the Aburame Icon_minitimeMon Oct 12, 2015 7:44 pm

I'll drop immunity down one rank, the poison is staying cause it is completely logicall cause they have to be immune to their own venom to survive and it will be made stong and paid for.

The population is just for jutsu use to limit how much I can use and is PURELY a disadvantage. As for the regular bugs they DO NOT replace them
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Will
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PostSubject: Re: Pride of the Aburame   Pride of the Aburame Icon_minitimeThu Nov 19, 2015 2:18 am

Do you still want these?
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